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Resolving Inevitable Conflicts

“Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional.” – Max Lucado, US author

As a board director, I find there’s nothing like robust boardroom debate to get me really engaged. After all, that’s what we’re there for, isn’t it? To wrestle with big, important issues; to help guide the organizations we care about around dangers and into a bright future; to make sound decisions in the interests of all our stakeholders.

But what about when the debate is not so healthy, when it degenerates into disruptive conflict? What are the consequences? What’s the impact on the issues we discuss, the guidance we offer, and the decisions we make?

And how can we deal with it?


What Boardroom Conflict Looks Like

It’s often said that ‘the board speaks with one voice,’ meaning that the board publicly expresses a consensus view. Getting to that consensus can be a messy process involving lively discussion, opposing points of view, and robust debate. This process often leads to a certain degree of tension.

Tension in the boardroom is healthy when it manifests as an open exchange of information, discomfort, discussion of difficult issues, questioning, energy and momentum, diverse perspectives, and engagement.

“Healthy tension is essential. That’s what good governance is built on. I want to encourage that tension.”  - Excerpt from ICSA Henley Interviews

But the tension is no longer healthy when it turns into an acrimonious dispute or descends into disruptive conflict.

“It can be surprisingly quick for tension to escalate to the point of being disruptive and damaging. It can happen in the blink of an eye.” - Excerpt from ICSA Henley Interviews

Disruptive conflict shows itself in a number of different ways, from subtle to direct or even violent.

  • Subtle Conflict. Conflict can be observed more in what is not said than in what is said. This insidious kind of conflict often goes unacknowledged or even unnoticed by some. Subtle conflict can occur when a board is dominated by one person or a small group. It manifests itself in withdrawal, silence, manipulation, and poor attendance. You might see passive aggressive behavior such as refusing to engage in discussion; being icily polite in response to probing questions; and trying to push debate out of the boardroom by ‘taking things offline’ or wanting to ‘catch up separately.’
  • Direct Conflict. Sometimes conflict is up-front. Disagreements escalate and the mood is one of anger, frustration, hostility or disapproval. The debate may involve personal attacks, name calling, raised voices, or overtly interrogative questioning that feels more like an inquisition. You might see directors leave the room, slam doors, or suddenly resign from the board.
  • Violent Conflict. Fortunately, physical violence is a rare occurrence in the boardroom. But boards are not immune from acts of psychological violence such as verbal abuse, threats, insults and harassment. Violence, or threats of violence, have to be taken very seriously. In the rare case of physical violence, consideration should be given to involving the police.


Sources of Conflict in the Boardroom

We’re often quick to explain our differences as personality conflicts, but, in reality, most conflicts are due to more than just differences of personal style. In the boardroom, conflict is most likely to emerge when decisions are being made, and it’s often linked to interpersonal relationships, historical issues such as a change in board structure, or the addition of a new board member who is seen as ‘rocking the boat.’

Understanding the source of a conflict helps us to manage it. Experts have identified five sources of conflict. In my experience, any one of these five sources can give rise to boardroom conflict. In many cases, more than one of these sources is at play.

  • Information. Conflicts caused by lack of information, misinformation, different views of what information is important, and different interpretations of the data.
  • Relationships. Conflicts that involve poor interpersonal communication. When strong emotions are involved, we often allow assumptions and stereotypes to take over our thinking. This can interfere with what we hear, how we interpret it, and how we respond.
  • Interests. Conflicts about what we really care about - the underlying needs that each of us sees as critical. These conflicts arise because we perceive that various interests are in competition, or that we have to trade off what we believe is important in order to preserve relationships.
  • Values. Conflicts about different ways of seeing the world - ideology in the broadest sense. These conflicts can arise around critical decisions that go to the heart of the organization. When we discover differences at the level of core values, there are really only two ways of resolving the conflict: either tolerate those differences or leave.
  • Structural. Conflicts that occur as a result of the demands of different roles. These conflicts are typically about power and authority, arising out of questions about who gets to decide or whether a process is fair, rather than questions about the outcome. I’ve found that representative boards are particularly susceptible to structural conflicts.


Managing Boardroom Conflict

A good board is one with managed tension. It will work hard to preserve the possibility of constructive dialogue. On the other hand, a dysfunctional board will allow unresolved tension to fester and escalate into disruptive conflict.

Disruptive conflict is most likely to occur when disagreements and concerns are left unresolved for too long. When disagreements between board members become personal, it becomes difficult or impossible to find any middle ground. Unfortunately, these conflicts are often left to simmer in the hope they will go away.

A board’s culture profoundly affects the way it manages conflict. The following practices all contribute to a board culture that is conducive to preventing and mitigating boardroom conflict.

Clear roles and responsibilities. Clarifying the roles of the board and management is crucial to preventing structural conflict. Failing to articulate these roles just invites disputes. This information needs to be shared with new directors of course, but it wouldn’t hurt to regularly remind existing directors as well.

Orderly board processes. Efficient procedures build an environment that encourages discussion and debate. In contrast, disorganized, chaotic meetings create confusion and misunderstandings that give rise to frustration and anger. When meeting time runs short, discussion is compromised, and we are left feeling we had no opportunity to participate.

Well-managed information flow. A good information system supports a healthy bond between the board and management, enabling directors to fulfill their oversight duties and make sound decisions. It helps ensure the board has the facts necessary for a healthy discussion and debate – and that all board directors have access to the same set of facts. I’ve often observed that unequal access to information can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

Culture of inquiry. Constructive inquiry, discussion, debate, and decision making require a conscious effort to develop a boardroom culture based on collegiality and civility. When the board environment is comfortable and the tone encourages creative problem solving, we can challenge assumptions, ask probing questions, and make suggestions without fear of creating disruptive conflict.

Good interpersonal communications. A good guiding principle for directors is ‘Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.’ It’s a mistake to assume that we know how others interpret what we are trying to say. People exposed to the same information can end up with completely different impressions and ideas. As directors, we can practice good communications by balancing inquiry and advocacy, being aware of our assumptions, and actively listening to each other.

“Alpha members of the board [are] not listening to others or not ‘hearing’ them, especially women (or those perceived to be of no importance); [there is] lack of empathy or ability to appreciate the motives of others.” - Excerpt from CEDR-IFC Survey Responses

Common goals. A strategic plan that clearly articulates an organization’s goals and objectives goes a long way to reduce the potential for conflict. I have found that, when the board consists of directors who were involved in developing the current strategy, there tends to be far more agreement about strategic choices and priorities. By the way, that’s one reason why new directors can create conflict – they are less personally invested in the strategic plan because they didn’t have a hand in creating it.

A skilled board chair. An effective board chair is critical to managing conflict. Their effectiveness comes from clarity about their role, their personal integrity, and how they understand and use facilitation techniques. Research shows that a board chair who takes no action to resolve a conflict will actually end up being blamed as a source of the conflict! Available techniques for the board chair include acknowledging concerns during board meetings, holding face-to-face conversations, and depersonalizing tension by reminding directors of their higher purpose.

“Factionalism [exists] on the board, and an unwillingness on the part of the chair to demand that members pull together—instead [there is] much manipulation and backroom dealing.” - Excerpt from CEDR-IFC Survey Responses

Board evaluation. Regular board self-evaluations, assessments by an independent third party, and board retreats all provide excellent platforms for identifying interests, surfacing issues, promoting discussion, and facilitating collaborative decision making. Peer-to-peer director evaluations can also be an effective tool – these tend to be well-used in corporate boardrooms, but less so on non-profit boards.

Dispute resolution. Dispute resolution techniques borrowed from negotiation and mediation can help develop a process for arriving at consensus and making decisions. As directors, we could all benefit from familiarity with conflict resolution processes to help determine when outside assistance might be helpful. A governance question for directors to ask is, ‘Do we have adequate mechanisms to resolve disputes that may arise?’


What can the Savvy Director do?

Serving on a board where there is disruptive conflict is hard on individual directors. Experts offer the following tips:

  • Don’t take it personally. A disagreement may be about the situation, idiosyncratic language used or a difference in vision – so don’t make it about you. Knowing this can make it a lot easier to resolve difficulties – but let’s face it, that’s a lot easier said than done.
  • ‘Who was right’ doesn’t matter. When you get beyond a certain point in a fight, the situation will have moved on. What then matters is ending the fight for the well-being of the board.
  • Sort out the difference between what happened and how people feel about it. Consider what is actually at stake or what feelings need to be restored.
  • Keep your language clear and fair. People remember how you make them feel. Avoiding misplaced words and keeping things simple make it easier to build consensus. Information presented crisply makes it easier to stay focused and make good decisions.
  • Find common ground. Start with big picture objectives. It’s easier to get agreement on points where you’re close, and then work towards finding solutions on what you don’t agree on.
  • Think ahead. When conflict occurs, it’s easier to find a way out of an impasse if you’ve thought about how to resolve differences in advance. This is where good meeting PREP comes in. You can consider in advance where conflict might emerge.
  • Know your own feelings. If you feel stressed in your dealings with other board members, try to understand why. Identify the source of the conflict – is it about structure? … relationships? … values? This exercise can help you make choices that are not just an emotional reaction.
  • Take the lead. Go ahead and start the dialogue, but keep listening and model good problem-solving behavior. This can help you identify the building blocks for constructing an agreement.
  • You don’t have to go it alone. Ask for help if you need it. Consider coaching or professional mediation.


Conflict – Good or Bad?

A boardroom is full of individuals with the best intentions – but, when disagreements arise, it can also be a hotbed for conflict. Wherever people with strong convictions work together to make a difference, there is potential conflict.

Directors’ individual voices have to give way to the voice of the board. Making that happen requires lively debate and disagreement that can lead to tension. That tension can feel uncomfortable but, like most directors, I view it as a positive and necessary force for any effective board, Resolving disagreements is constructive and stimulating. It can lead to change and adaptation, promote self-awareness. strengthen relationships and heighten morale.

But when disruptive conflicts occur, they must be dealt with promptly, before they undermine the board’s effectiveness. If that doesn’t happen, they can escalate to extreme and unresolvable levels. I’ve known boards to get totally bogged down, where the conflict damages individuals and relationships, fundamentally altering board dynamics in ways that it can be difficult to recover from.

Camaraderie and friendship are often important for directors – especially volunteer directors of non-profit organizations. If the board experience is no longer enjoyable because of unresolved conflicts, directors may drift away or resign. In the worst cases, disruptive conflict can spill over outside the boardroom and negatively affect the organization’s performance.

This doesn’t mean we have to be unemotional in order to keep conflict at bay. Our emotions inevitably affect important conversations. The presence of strong emotions means that we care - that issues and relationships are close to our hearts. Acknowledging those feelings doesn’t lead to conflict – instead it tends to humanize the conversation.

“Emotions are always present where issues and relationships are at stake. The idea that we can 'leave them outside' the meeting, is false. It is the emotional dimension of conflict that is the most difficult factor for most of us to deal with.” – Grant MacDonald. Governinggood.


Your takeaways:

  • Tension is healthy in the boardroom, but disruptive conflict can be very harmful if it’s not dealt with promptly.
  • Conflict can range from silent to violent. Much of the boardroom conflict that I’ve observed has been pretty subtle.
  • Before trying to manage conflict, it helps to identify the source (or multiple sources). Is it information, relationships, structure, values, or conflict of interests?
  • Good boardroom practices can help prevent disruptive conflict and mitigate the effects if it does occur.
  • The board chair has a critical role in resolving the inevitable conflicts that arise in the boardroom.
  • Individual directors can help manage conflict while protecting themselves from the negative personal consequences.




Leave a comment below to get in on the conversation.

Thank you.


Scott Baldwin is a certified corporate director (ICD.D) and co-founder of – an online membership with practical tools for board directors who choose a growth mindset.


Originally published: April 11, 2021

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