Speak with Intention, Not Impulse

Speaking with intention helps directors avoid reactions that derail discussions and instead contribute with clarity, curiosity, and purpose. This article explores how to slow down fast thinking, recognize emotional cues, and communicate in ways that strengthen board culture.

The boardroom is a place where a single comment can shift a discussion, change a decision, or alter the tone of an entire meeting. Yet even experienced directors sometimes speak without thinking – reacting emotionally, making assumptions, or unintentionally shutting down the conversation.

With directors facing complex issues and high expectations, the ability to pause and think before speaking is a governance skill worth developing. I don’t recommend being overly cautious or scripted ahead of time. But I do advocate being intentional about what you say.

Let’s explore how we, as directors, can strengthen our communication discipline to build healthy, productive boardroom conversations.

High Impact Communication

In everyday life, a poorly phrased comment can cause a moment of awkwardness. In the boardroom, the same comment can derail a discussion, silence a colleague, or damage trust.

We often underestimate how much weight our words carry. As a director, it’s important to recognize the impact of your voice. When you speak, people listen. When you interrupt, people notice. When you react emotionally, people feel it. The simple act of being aware of your impact can shift how you show up.

Fast Thinking

Human brains are wired for speed. We rely on shortcuts such as cognitive biases and subconscious assumptions to help us navigate the world quickly and easily. Some of the more common shortcuts are:

• Confirmation bias: paying attention only to what confirms your beliefs.
• Status quo bias: preferring the familiar over change.
• Expertise trap: viewing an issue through the narrow lens of your own area of expertise.
• Reasoning by analogy: assuming that a previous solution will automatically work again.
• Assumptions: filling in gaps in information with your own story.

Mental shortcuts can cause us to make comments that land poorly or questions that feel like attacks They can also lead us to jump to conclusions instead of following a structured reasoning process.

“We are able to pay attention to a tiny little bit of information. We can then weave a very coherent story that makes sense to us. And then we can use that story to jump very quickly to a solution that we just know will work.” – Corey Phelps, Smeal College of Business, Penn State

Being subject to these tendencies doesn’t mean you’re a bad director, they just mean you’re human. But what helps us survive everyday life can undermine thoughtful governance in boardrooms, where clarity, neutrality, and fairness are essential,

Catching Yourself in the Moment

In moments of calm, it’s easy to acknowledge that our thinking is shaped by biases and assumptions. But in the moment, recognizing what’s happening is much harder – especially when the discussion is complex and unfolding in real time.

Mental shortcuts are even more problematic when accompanied by negative emotions like frustration, fear, or defensiveness. Biases, assumptions, and emotional triggers are at the root of many of the less‑helpful comments we hear in the boardroom. The challenge is that most of us don’t recognize them until after we’ve said something we wish we could re-phrase or take back.

Catching yourself in the moment can help you pause before reacting in a way you’ll regret. Pay attention to these cues:

• Feeling an urge to respond immediately.
• Rehearsing your rebuttal while someone else is talking.
• Tightening in your jaw or chest.
• Feeling personally attacked by a neutral comment.
• Wanting to “correct” someone right away.

When you notice one or more of these signals, take it as an invitation to slow down your thinking. Pause, breathe, and re‑engage with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

Slow Down Your Thinking

The micro-pause is a simple, powerful communication tool to help you circumvent mental shortcuts and runaway emotions. It involves taking a deliberate 2–5 second pause before speaking.

In that tiny window, ask yourself:

• What am I trying to achieve with this comment?
• Is this a question or a judgment disguised as a question?
• How might this land with others?

The micro-pause creates space for intention. It slows down fast thinking and gives your wiser, more strategic self a chance to take the wheel.

Boards function best when directors speak with purpose. Intentional communication keeps discussions focused and constructive. In the boardroom, directors often speak to correct, challenge, clarify, or demonstrate expertise. But intention and real-life impact don’t always match.

WAIT before speaking. (In this case, WAIT reminds you to ask yourself, “Why Am I Talking?”)

Before making a comment, try this helpful self-check:

Will this comment…

• advance the discussion?
• deepen understanding?
• support better decision making?
• or simply express my opinion?

Remember, not every thought needs airtime and not every reaction needs to be voiced.

Curiosity opens doors. Judgment closes them.

When directors feel rushed, stressed, or skeptical, the board can fall into unproductive questioning patterns with questions such as “Why didn’t you …?” or “Have you even considered …?” or “Isn’t it obvious that …?”

These are “gotcha” questions that trigger defensiveness and shut down productive discussion.

On the other hand, you can invite dialogue with curious questions such as:

• “Can you walk us through your thinking?”
• “What assumptions are we making here?”
• “What options did you consider?”
• “What would success look like from your perspective?”

Reduce threat with the simple softening phrase, “I might be wrong, but …”  For example, “I might be wrong, but I’m wondering if we’re overlooking a risk.”

This approach can transform how your question is received. It signals humility, reduces defensiveness, and encourages others to contribute.

Cooling the Temperature in Heated Moments

For directors, thinking before speaking isn’t just self control, it’s stewardship of the board’s culture – and we’re all responsible for that. But even boards with a healthy culture can sometimes hit an emotional flashpoint. When tension rises, directors can help reset the tone. Techniques such as these help maintain psychological safety and keep discussions productive:

• Asking a clarifying question instead of making a statement.
• Acknowledging emotion without escalating it.
• Suggesting a short break if the conversation is spiraling.
• Gently naming the dynamic: “It feels like we’re getting stuck. Can we reset and approach this differently?”

Boards make better decisions when people feel safe to speak honestly. Psychological safety is a governance responsibility that rests, for the most part, with the board chair. The rest of us contribute to psychological safety by:

• avoiding sarcasm or dismissive comments.
• not interrupting.
• acknowledging others’ contributions.
• asking open, non leading questions.
• showing appreciation for dissenting views.

It is possible for a board to be overly collegial – so focused on harmony that directors rarely challenge management perspectives. Boards often pride themselves on civility, but politeness can sometimes mask practices such as avoidance of difficult topics, indirect criticism, passive-aggressive comments, and unclear feedback.

Intentional communication helps boards be both respectful and clear. It encourages directors to speak honestly without being harsh, and to challenge ideas without challenging people.

In Summary

Communicating with intention isn’t about being overly cautious or reluctant to speak up. It’s about being effective. It means recognizing that, as a director, your words carry weight, your reactions shape culture, and your communication style influences the quality of your board’s decisions.

When you pause, reflect, and speak with intention it helps create a board culture where people feel respected, ideas are explored deeply, and decisions are made with clarity and confidence.

In a governance world that’s only getting more complex, intentional communication isn’t just a soft skill. It’s a strategic advantage.

Your takeaways:

Before speaking up in the boardroom, ask yourself:

1. What is my intention?
2. Is this the right moment?
3. How might this land with others?
4. Am I reacting emotionally or thoughtfully?
5. Will this move the conversation forward?

Here’s the key takeaway: If the answer to #5 is “no,” silence might be the wiser choice.

Resources:

• The Ladder of Inference: Understanding Its 7 Rungs. Indeed Editorial Team. Indeed. December 2025.
• Bring More Discipline to Your Decision-Making. Corey Phelps. HBR On Leadership. December 2025.
• Is Your Board Too Collegial? Irina Cozma and Elena Rodighiero. Harvard Business Review. September 2025.
• How to Control Your Emotions During a Difficult Conversation. Amy Gallo. Harvard Business Review. December 2017.
• High-Performing Teams Need Psychological Safety: Here’s How to Create It. Laura Delizonna. Harvard Business Review. August 2017.
• Crucial Conversations Third Edition. Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzer, and Emily Gregory. McGraw Hill. October 2021.
• Thinking, Fast and Slow. Daniel Kahneman. Anchor Books. April 2013.

Thank you.

Scott

Scott Baldwin is a certified corporate director (ICD.D) and co-founder of DirectorPrep.com – an online membership with practical tools and valuable insights designed for directors at every stage – from first appointment to seasoned board leader.

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